Not an uncommon concern. Some time ago, I posted an article here stating that one of the most devastating reasons for the decline in church membership and attendance in America is the rise of a “birth control” mentality with the resultant breathtaking decline in the number of children that Christian couples are having. I am lucky if I get to baptize more than a handful of babies a year!
That said, even the children we do baptize largely grow up and leave the church. One of you asked me once, “Where are all the children? Why are they gone after Confirmation?” Your question was a good one. Of the children confirmed at Mt. Zion, fully 4 out of 5 have disappeared by age 18. Gone. 4 out of 5! I didn’t have a good answer for you so I said something about how the schools today are so corrosive to Christian faith.
I’ve changed my mind.
It is true, like never before, that parents who choose the public school system simply must fight doggedly against the relativism, multiculturalism, and evolutionary atheism of the schools if they hope to keep their children in the faith. But, by and large, that is not what determines whether a child will remain in the church.
The numbers leave little room for doubt on this. Statistically, the most significant factor determining a child’s future life in the church is determined by their dad. Not their parents, not their mom, not their pastor. It is their dad.
A ten year old study out of Switzerland indicates that “if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers.” Obviously, these statistics recognize exceptions, and you can probably point out your own exceptions. The Word of God brings fruit in the most unlikely of circumstances. But, those exceptions are precisely that – exceptions. The rule stands. Fathers are the head of the household and when they choose the Lord, their household almost always follows along with. But when they do not choose the Lord, their family almost always scatters.
I suppose these numbers are politically incorrect. But, they are true.
Men must begin to own this critical responsibility. To you men, your allegiance to the Lord Jesus will be noticed by your children. This reality is as simple as it is in-escapable. Nor can you permit the children’s mother to take over the task. Your sons and daughters must know that this is important to you, their father, that you need church as much or more than their mother, that you are a seriously sinful man and that your only hope is the cross of Christ. Never let your children see that you are only going to church because your wife wants you to. Go because you need the Absolution, because the devil, your flesh and the world constantly assault you and you need the Body and Blood. Go because you need to go. But, go also because your children are watching. Go because they need to be taught themselves to need the Absolution and the Body and Blood just as you do.
Now, if you are not a man who is particularly sensitive and emotional, empathetic or understanding – in other words, if you do not particularly fit the typical mold of the soppy, feeble-minded Christian man – well, good. The church of Christ doesn’t need effeminate wimps and reeds in the wind. She needs men of faith and conviction, sinners who are willing to be honest about their condition, and who will give glory to no one but Jesus.
These are the sort of men the church needs. So also, this is the increasingly rare sort of man that children need. May the Lord bless us with many.
